I have often felt lately, that I am a cup that is filled to full. You know when the liquid threatens to spill over and all that is preventing the overflow is surface tension? But then, the next drop hits the surface and everything begins to spill out. This has been my life lately. I have allowed my cup to become to full trying to hold it all together. But God never intended for us to try to hold it all; He wants us to surrender and allow all the hurt to spill over so that He can fill us up with something so much better.
When your cup is filled one worry at a time, one pain at a time, it accumulates slowly, but can overflow in an instant. A hurtful word spoken (drip), a broken relationship, (drip), financial difficulties, (drip) and before you realize it, that cup is full and threatening to spill. I didn’t realize that my cup had become so full until that last drop hit, shattering the surface tension, causing the contents to overflow.
When the cup could not hold anymore, I broke. I felt as though I was drowning in a sea of darkness. For a moment I lost sight of the Light. All I could hear were the dark, condemning thoughts. All I could see is the mess that had been made when my cup overflowed. I lost sight of my Anchor. I forgot that I needed to be an empty vessel so that God could fill me with light and hope.
I had been working so hard to maintain that surface tension that when it was broken, I felt lost. Once again, my eyes were on my circumstances and troubles and not on my Saviour. I know that my life is overwhelming right now. I know that no one would think it unusual to be anxious about all that is happening in my life. The world tells me that I am justified in giving in and feeling sorry for myself. But Jesus tells me that He is enough. He tells me that even in the hurt and unknown, He is my Healer and nothing is unknown to Him.
I can stress and worry and hope that the surface tension holds and that my life doesn’t overflow OR I can surrender and allow God to empty my cup of all the fear and pain and fill me with His hope and His joy. It is a choice I need to make everyday. Will I let Him be my Saviour everyday or will I try to save myself and keep it all together?
Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
Isaiah 33:2, New International Version