I have spent too much time lately listening to the wrong voices. I have listened to the voices that tell me this is all too much. The voices that say I will never be able to manage this and I will fail. The voices that tell me I am a bad mom and if only I had tried harder and done more my family wouldn’t be falling apart. The voices that tell me I am not worthy of grace and love. These are the voices that drown out the Voice of the One who loves me.
Anyone who says they don’t hear these voices is a liar. We have all questioned our worth and value. I’m willing to bet that all of us have gone to bed at night only to replay the day and hear that niggling voice say, “you could have done it better.” It isn’t so much that those accusing voices are there; it is what we do with them.
How do you talk to yourself? Are you kind? Do you treat yourself the way that you treat others? I don’t. I would never, ever say to my friends the things that I say to myself. So, why do I do it? I do it because it is easy. It is easier to just let the thoughts happen, to let them have free reign than it is to combat them. It hurts, but it’s easy. But, that is not how God wants me to live. He wants me to take hold of those thoughts and remember whose I am.
We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One. 2 Corninthians 10:5 The Passion Translation
Those voices accuse and destroy. They worm their way into my head until I begin to question my worth and my value. I begin to feel as though I am never going to make it, so why shouldn’t I just give up? This is exactly what the enemy wants. He wants me to be weak and unsure of who I am. He plants seeds of doubt… Am I really saved? Could God actually ever use me? Am I too far gone? Should I just quit?
I don’t want to be passive anymore. I want to take those thoughts captive and remember that I am a valued daughter of the King. I matter. I am enough. I am loved. I have a purpose. I’ve been listening to the song, “You Say” quite a bit lately. It reminds me that even when the voices are yelling in my head, God’s voice is louder, reminding me that I am his. Don’t listen to the voices of regret and shame. Allow the voice of the God who loves you to be the soundtrack in your mind.