Busy. Rushed. Overwhelmed. Tired. I have been so busy the last few weeks that I don’t even feel like I know where I am or what I am supposed to be doing most of the time. Things I normally love have become a chore and I am avoiding people I usually love spending time with. Why? Because it is easier to be busy than it is to be real. It is easy to hide behind the cover of “too busy”. I think we all do it. Look around. We live in a society where we are praised for being exhausted from trying to do it all.
When I am busy, I don’t have to think. When I am busy, it is easier not to feel. When I am busy, I cannot heal. Jesus was busy in his ministry here on earth, but he always took time alone away from all the noise to be still. He left the busyness and spent quiet time in prayer. Time to reconnect. Time to rest. Time to breathe.
But Jesus often slipped away from them and went into the wilderness to pray
Luke 5:16 TPT
I am guilty of not taking this time. I want to rush from one thing to another to another so that there is no space for feelings to creep in. I want to hide my pain in busyness. But God is calling me to pause. He is asking me to surrender the chaos to His calm. He is asking me to trust Him to walk with me through the feelings. What is it that holds me back from these quiet moments? Fear. Fear of what it will feel like to be still and allow the death grip I hold on my emotions to slowly relax. Fear that I will lose control, yet that is exactly what Jesus wants me to do; lose control.
Not the loss of control like losing my temper and screaming at everyone, but the control of trying to do it all my way. He wants me to let go of my fears, my worries, my death-grip on my emotions. There are deep, dark places that He wants to heal, but I have to allow Him access to those places for healing to take place. He offers forgiveness and healing, yet I continue to push back and fill my calendar. When will I allow him to come in?
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagles!
Psalm 103:3-5 NLT
What about you? What is your busyness hiding? What hurt are you afraid to face? What is it that you feel could never be healed? Will you take that time away from the day-to-day rush to quiet yourself and stop hiding? It is terrifying. It takes courage to surrender. But the thing is, nothing that we will face is terrifying to God. He isn’t afraid of the dark and scary places that we like to hide from everyone. He won’t force his way into those places, but he will sit with you in the dark if you let him.
I know what he is asking me to surrender. I know what he is asking me to let go of. I keep thinking of the song “Take Courage” and the words, “slow down take time, breathe in He said, He’d reveal what’s to come”. I don’t have to figure it all out. I simply need to slow down.
Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come