Be Still

Just be still. It sounds like it should be easy to do; yet I find myself unable to do it.  I fight. I battle. I complain. I get angry. I push. I am not able to be still. I am more aware of this over the last few weeks as I have been undergoing some big changes in my life. While most of these changes are good things, I find myself feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I’d like to say that in these times of change, I lean in harder on Jesus, but instead the opposite is true. I find myself trying to solve all of the puzzles and do all of the things on my own. And then I wonder why I am exhausted?

The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still. 

Exodus 14:14

The Lord will fight for you. Hmmm. It doesn’t say the Lord might fight for you. It doesn’t say that you need to do the work and then the Lord will fight for you. It says the Lord WILL fight for you. All I need to do is be still. Now, I’m not necessarily the one who would be the self-proclaimed hyper kid, but I am the super uptight, type “A” kind of person who doesn’t do well being still. I need to know what’s happening, when it’s happening, why it’s happening, and what I am supposed to be doing. Doing. That is my downfall. I am constantly needing to be doing. I don’t do still. I don’t do quiet. I do the things. All. The. Time. 

You see when I am still is when all of those voices like to creep in. Those voices that tell me I am not enough. The voices that say it will never get better. The whispers that creep in to say I am a freak and no one will ever want me. The screams that tell me I am a failure and I have to try harder. But that is not the way it is meant to be.  I am not supposed to be the one who fights this battle. My job is to surrender my iron-fisted grip on all my failures and disappointments and fears and worries and control and allow God to fight the battle for me. It’s not my job to fight the battle. 

So in the middle of the change… be still.  In the middle of the darkness… be still. In the midst of the unknown and unfamiliar… be still. Even though it feels like I need to be doing something. I need only be still.  The bible says it few different ways, “be still and know that I am God”, “Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act”, and even in the middle of a great storm Jesus said to the waves, “be still”. 

So the changes may still be going on around me. I am still facing the same giants that like to mess with my head. I still want to do all of the things, but I don’t have to. The only thing that I have to do is be still. The Lord will fight that battle for me. I don’t have to push and push and try so hard. The winning comes in the surrender. The peace comes when I am still and let God do the fighting for me. 

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