Tag: broken

Constant Work in Progress

      I have put in a lifetime of work accepting myself. It has been a constant battle with my own negative self-talk: you’re a fraud, you’ll never be good enough, you don’t belong here, you’re worthless, and so on.  I have only really been good at replacing those lies with God’s truth in the last few years by…

When Words Fail

I am tired; the tired that leaves you feeling numb. The tired that causes sleep to be elusive. I am worn. I am battle weary. I do not say this in an attempt to feel sorry for myself. No, I say this because it is hard for me to admit that I am anything less than strong. To say that…

Disorderly

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscious, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. ~C.S. Lewis The Problem of Pain   I have a disorder. It’s not an official one, but it’s there. I’m the hyper kid, so being still is not my strong point. Heck, it’s not even…

Scars

I have spent years being ashamed of the scars on my arms. I was so aware of them all of the time. I wanted to hide them. I wanted to pretend that they weren’t there. I didn’t want to face the questions that might come if people saw them. I was bound up by my past. I was a prisoner.…

To My Friend

Dear Friend, I watched you die today. It didn’t stick though. God saved you once again. How many times is this now? 4? It doesn’t really matter that much. What matters is how angry I am. You talk the talk of someone who wants to heal, but you ignore your words. You want to get better, but you ignore the…

Surface Tension

I have often felt lately, that I am a cup that is filled to full. You know when the liquid threatens to spill over and all that is preventing the overflow is surface tension? But then, the next drop hits the surface and everything begins to spill out. This has been my life lately. I have allowed my cup to…