Tag: darkness

Here I am

Here I am. Fighting once again to get to that place of, “okay”. But what is, okay?  I don’t even know if I am aware of what exactly “okay” is. I’ve been struggling for what seems like forever, with dark thoughts and I don’t like the heaviness that comes with these thoughts. It weighs on me and drags me down, but…

And The You Fell

Have you ever fought so hard, that you just couldn’t fight anymore? I’m talking about the mental fight to keep pushing on and to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when you don’t think you have it in you. I have been in that position more times than I care to remember. So many times, I…

Sometimes Things are Hard

Sometimes things are hard. We have all experienced hard things in life; that is just the nature of being alive. I have recently been on the receiving end of some of life’s hard things and I have to say, it took the wind out of my sails for a little bit. I had an unexpected shift in roles at work…

Isolated, But Not Alone

I have had a great amount of time alone lately. I am working on the COVID unit in my nursing home and because of that I am isolating here at home when I am not working. This gives me a lot of time to think and wonder and question and do what I can to not get stuck inside my…

Dark

Dark. Foggy. Numb. This is what my depression feels like these days. As I sit here trying to type I fight the fight of wanting to make it seem not so bad, to put a happy face on and say, “it’s really no big deal”. But I am going to take a deep breath and be real for a few…

Constant Work in Progress

      I have put in a lifetime of work accepting myself. It has been a constant battle with my own negative self-talk: you’re a fraud, you’ll never be good enough, you don’t belong here, you’re worthless, and so on.  I have only really been good at replacing those lies with God’s truth in the last few years by…

18 Months

It has been 18 months since I heard my father’s voice. 18 months since he yelled at sports on television. Eighteen months since he drew his last breath. Eighteen months since I have let myself feel the pain of that loss. I was a daddy’s girl my whole life up until that point, and I don’t know how to behave…

I Am No Victim

I am no victim, I live with a vision I’m covered by the force of love Covered in my Saviour’s blood I am no orphan, I’m not a poor man The kingdom’s now become my own And with the King I’ve found a home Kristene DiMarco, I Am No Victim Beautiful words. Words that convict. Words that heal. Words that…

The Holy or the Broken Hallelujah

There’s a blaze of light in every word It doesn’t matter which you heard The holy or the broken hallelujah                                                                                …