Tag: depression

Identity

Identity. Who we are. What we are. I have spent my life identifying as a white girl. A girl who goes to church. A girl who tries to be good. A girl who likes boys. That is what good girls do, right? They like boys. They grow up and marry a boy and have a family. That’s what I did.…

Isolated, But Not Alone

I have had a great amount of time alone lately. I am working on the COVID unit in my nursing home and because of that I am isolating here at home when I am not working. This gives me a lot of time to think and wonder and question and do what I can to not get stuck inside my…

How COVID Saved my Life

How a global pandemic saved my life. Wait, what? Yes. COVID-19 in all its restrictions, isolation, and awfulness has saved my life. As many of you know, I battle depression. And I’m not talking I feel a little blue, so I’m going to lay in bed today depression; I’m talking the I can’t go on another day so I’m going…

Let’s Talk

I’m just getting back to “real” life after another lengthy stay in the hospital. It’s funny, because my reaction to being in the hospital is embarrassment and shame. Why in the world is that?! Is there something wrong with being sick and needing extra care? No! But despite my talk about depression being and illness, I still feel like I…

Realness

*Trigger warning. This post is raw and deals with thoughts and feelings that could be triggering to some. Please be aware when reading and reach out for help if you are feeling vulnerable. Stupid. Worthless. Irrelevant. That is what you are. No one wants you. You should have never been born. Your friends are not your friends. No one loves…

SuperPower

For the better part of my life, I’ve identified myself as the girl with depression. Yes, there are many other identities that I have: mom, nurse, student, friend, Christian. But all of those identities were always secondary to depression. Last August at the Celebrate Recovery training summit, I felt like I was supposed to lay that identity down and I…

Depression 2.0

I have spent the better part of my adult life living with depression. The diagnosis of depression is safe. It is familiar. It is like a security blanket at times. But then, my world was turned upside down. The final day of my hospital admission I sat in a room, with my doctor, a nurse, my closest friend and heard…

Two Months and a Day

Two months and one day. That was the length of my stay on the psychiatric unit. I feel as though I was in a fight for my life and there were days that I was unsure if I could make it one more day. But by the grace and strength of God I made it out to the other side.…