Tag: help

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Dark. Heavy. Drowning. I don’t know if it’s the change in season or if it is all the chaos in my life at the moment, but darkness has become my constant companion of late. Some days I feel like I am watching actors on a stage; like I can’t actually engage with anyone. I am going through the motions of…

Constant Work in Progress

      I have put in a lifetime of work accepting myself. It has been a constant battle with my own negative self-talk: you’re a fraud, you’ll never be good enough, you don’t belong here, you’re worthless, and so on.  I have only really been good at replacing those lies with God’s truth in the last few years by…

Better Together

Better together. That was a phrase that was often repeated by all of the speakers in California. It has been repeated by many voices since I have been home. I wonder if they’ve been saying it all along and maybe I’m just finally ready to hear it…   Better together is not me. I am more of a, “I’m good…

Rocks in the River

  I was on Facebook today and read a friend’s post. It was about her dad and how much the grief still hurts after so many years. I wanted to respond to her. I wanted to say something like ‘I know’ or ‘it doesn’t matter how long, it always sucks’. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t even bring myself to put…

Disorderly

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscious, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. ~C.S. Lewis The Problem of Pain   I have a disorder. It’s not an official one, but it’s there. I’m the hyper kid, so being still is not my strong point. Heck, it’s not even…

To My Friend

Dear Friend, I watched you die today. It didn’t stick though. God saved you once again. How many times is this now? 4? It doesn’t really matter that much. What matters is how angry I am. You talk the talk of someone who wants to heal, but you ignore your words. You want to get better, but you ignore the…