Tag: mental illness

Dark

Dark. Foggy. Numb. This is what my depression feels like these days. As I sit here trying to type I fight the fight of wanting to make it seem not so bad, to put a happy face on and say, “it’s really no big deal”. But I am going to take a deep breath and be real for a few…

Who am I?

For so long, I’ve been depressed. I’ve been one who self-harms. I’ve been one with an eating disorder. Yes, I am a believer. Yes, I love Jesus. But my identity has been, for so long, wrapped up in a diagnosis. It didn’t start out that way. I never intended to be defined by this, but somewhere along the way it…

Finding Rainbows

How full is your glass? Are you a half empty or a half full kind of person? I have always been a glass half empty person. I used to joke that I was intended to be a pessimist. I was born on the Day of the Dead, I am a Wednesday’s child (full of woe), and my name means “dark”. …

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Dark. Heavy. Drowning. I don’t know if it’s the change in season or if it is all the chaos in my life at the moment, but darkness has become my constant companion of late. Some days I feel like I am watching actors on a stage; like I can’t actually engage with anyone. I am going through the motions of…

Constant Work in Progress

      I have put in a lifetime of work accepting myself. It has been a constant battle with my own negative self-talk: you’re a fraud, you’ll never be good enough, you don’t belong here, you’re worthless, and so on.  I have only really been good at replacing those lies with God’s truth in the last few years by…